Life is a Struggle...but let's make it a BEAUTIFUL

Saturday, April 14, 2012

"A Glimpse at Me & My Life"
Jennifer Hope Knox

First of all, I would like to thank you so much for viewing my blog. I pray that you are blessed and encouraged by both my posts and the scriptures I include frequently, that God has so richly blessed us with as we journey through this life.
~My current life: To begin with, I turned 15 years old February 25, 2012. I was of course super excited to have finally reached my teen years, but I was also discouraged as I couldn't help but think of all the things I would undoubtebly miss out on because of my current condition...Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome(SMA). What is that you may ask...? I wondered that too the first time I was diagnosed in March of 2011. In medical terms it is explained as a digestive system disorder which occurs when the supererior mesenteric artery obstructs the duodenum as it crosses over it. Basically, because of the narrowing caused by the mesenteric artery that blocks my stomach, I am unable to eat without projectile vomiting.--- This all started during my 8th grade softball season and has been a continuing issue ever since. Just a note, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SOFTBALL, and practically anything that involves being active! Of course, this love of mine is extremely tough to deal with since I am unable to participate in sports from the result of my illness. What doctors think to have caused my SMA is the fact that I excercised more than I consumed during the season and it resulted in weight loss that brought about the obstruction of my gastro system. Body structure can have an impact on the victims, but there is actually only 500 cases of SMA ever detected in the world! So, as my counselors try to convince me..."ain't I special?"
---Anyways, the game plan now and last year is and was to feed me by a kangaroo feeding pump. I have a TP tube that is inserted up my nose, down my throat, and it continues throughout my body until it reaches beneath the area where the collapse has taken place. I cannot eat or drink anything by I guess you could say my kangaroo companion and I are closely attached. After weight gain, the artery, we pray will go back into its correct position. And it supposebly did...last May. Yes, I said last May, because once you are diagnosed with my condition, you can relapse and it can occur all over again. That is just what happened at the end of last year...and once again I have the TP tube and I've had it since December of 2011.
---I have definately been put through the ringer. Since the beginnig of 2011, I have been in and out of hospitals several times, admitted to a residential hospital facility, and of course have had several tests done and the tube placed down. But you know what, God is with me! And without Him, I know without a doubt I would have no hope whatsoever. But I do have Him and so do each and every one of you who are reading this! God's Word commands us to " Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified of them, For it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6. Yes, I know and experience pain, but I also have a mighty Hope that comes from My Savior! He tells me in Matthew 21 that if I have faith(even the size of a mustard seed) I can move mountains! And this and several other promises He assures me of, sustains my perserverance.
---I am on the pump baically all day...with a short break from feedings to take a shower. This of course prevents me from participating in several activities which is a struggle for me to handle. Like I said before, I LOVE to move and be active...I always have and always will. I have been involved in soccer, swimming, and gymnastics throughout my life, but my love of softball has stuck with me since the age of 3! I pray to one day be back on the diamond pitching that big, yellow ball once again. And I know that "through Christ all things are possible."(Phil.4:13)... so if its His will, I will! ~You may be what do I do now that I can't do the things I have mentioned...? Well for one, I study, both schoolwork(online classes), and my Bible. Scriptures are what I use as weapons to fight my everyday struggles, thoughts, and trials. I believe that "the One who started good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,"(Phil.1:6) and that the closer my walk with God becomes, even through this valley, I will have both better knowlege of the One who loves me enough to die for me, and also I believe the more of His Word I know, the better my testimony can unravel to glorify Him! That is my prayer today. I want to live a life that is both pleasing to Him and that can bring other to know Him even more as well. I hope that through my posts you will see just how Great our God and Ultimate Healer is. I am definately not saying that life is easy at all...but I do have a Lord who promises me I do not have to face it alone!
Love in Christ,
Jennifer Hope Knox

This is an xray of my body with the tube inserted....